


Holiday Wolf

by AnimalCops



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 1977, Werewolf, christmas full moon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-12 01:40:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12948549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnimalCops/pseuds/AnimalCops
Summary: Remus has forgotten that the Full happens on Christmas this year. Hopefully his friends listen when he tells them he doesn’t want them to stay at school over the break. But then he’ll be alone. He can handle that, right?





	Holiday Wolf

Remus sat upright in his four poster abruptly, his chest heaving, a cold sweat over his body. He rapidly looked around the room, eyes taking in the closed curtains of the other beds. He glanced out the window, frowning at the moonlight. How could he have forgotten? After James had so graciously invited the three of them to his house for Christmas break - he had forgotten. It had never escaped his mind before, he was always so conscious of it. 

The full moon would be happening on Christmas this year. 

He ran a hand through his hair, feeling how damp it had gotten with sweat, and sighed. He did not want to go back to sleep. His body was at war with itself the week preceding the full moon. He always felt overwhelmingly exhausted and at the same time he did not want to face the nightmares of Fenrir Greyback again. Christmas was in just a few days, the others would be going to James’ house and he would have to stay at Hogwarts. 

He jumped slightly when he heard a low grunt from the bed beside him. He glanced over at the closed curtains and heard a sleepy voice. “Moony? You awake?”

“Yeah, Pads.”

“Nightmares?”

Remus sighed. “Yeah, Pads.”

“You wanna talk?” 

“It’s just... I remembered something, Padfoot.” Remus mumbled, holding his head in his hands. 

“Whatcha remember?”

“I can’t go to James’.” 

“You can’t?” The bed rustled and the curtains opened. Sirius’ hair was tousled from sleep, he was sitting upright on his knees, looking at his friend.

“It’s the full. I just remembered, the full is on Christmas. I don’t know why I had forgotten.” Remus glanced over at him, frowning. 

“We... we could find some place at James’ house. We can secure a room there. You can still come.” 

Remus shook his head. “No, I would never risk that. I’d never put James’ parents in danger like that.”

“You’ll be alone... on Christmas? Remus, I’ll stay. I’ll stay here with you.”

“You won’t.”

“I won’t?”

“No, you won’t. I don’t want your holiday to suffer because of me.” Remus got up from his seat on his bed, “I need a shower, I feel gross.”

Sirius frowned, “Alright, Moony...”

Remus could practically hear the gears in Sirius’ mind whirring. Looking back at him, the werewolf frowned once more. “Don’t try to think up a way to stay here, Sirius.” And with that, he left for the bathroom. 

——

James and Peter woke around 8 to find a snoring Sirius practically falling off his bed and a quietly reading Remus. As all mornings went, Peter dragged himself out of his bed and into the bathroom while James leaped onto Sirius’ bed, startling a shocked yelp from him. 

James shouted, “Get ready, get ready, Pads!” He sounded like an overexcited child. “We’re going home today!”

Sirius lazily batted at him with one arm, “Stoppit... I’ll get up in a bit.”

“You’ve gotta get ready!” James said loudly, yanking the blankets off of his friend. 

Remus glanced over the top of his book, watching as Sirius lunges at James, knocking him to the floor. They rolled around, wrestling, laughing. Rolling his eyes, Remus set his book down and got out of bed. He gingerly stepped over his wrestling friends and headed toward the door. 

“Where you going, Moony?” James piped up suddenly. 

“Breakfast.” He was thankful he had already gotten dressed before his friends woke up, after realizing he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. 

“Don’t forget to pack! We’re leaving soon!”

Remus felt himself tense. “Right.” He quickly left the room, blocking out the sounds of his friends. He made his way down the to the great hall and instead of sitting at the Gryffindor table, he made his way to the staff table at the far side of the room. 

“Um, Professor..” Remus spoke quietly, not wanting to be too loud, not wanting his nervousness to seep through. “Do you mind... can I have a word with you? Alone?”

McGonagall looked at him, studying him. She remained silent as she looked him up and down. She studied his nervous ticks - the way he shifted from foot to foot, the way he glanced around ever so slightly, the way his fingers picked at the edge of his sweater’s sleeves. “Of course, Mr. Lupin.” She got up from her seat and excused herself. 

She followed him out of the great hall and then led him to an empty classroom. “Is something wrong, Mr. Lupin?”

Remus spoke quietly, “I need to stay here. Over Christmas break, I mean.”

McGonagall arched an elegant brow, “I thought you all,” she waved her hand at him, “were going to Mr. Potter’s home for the holidays.” 

“I forgot.” He felt shame wash over him and heard panic enter his voice. “I forgot- it’s, it’s the full, Professor. It’s on Christmas and I forgot.” He brought a hand to his lips without realizing it and began to chew on his fingernail. “I forgot about the full when I agreed to go, I can’t go.”

She was silent for a moment before speaking, making Remus feel even more nervous. “I see, yes. I will notify the Headmaster and Poppy and we will make sure you are taken care of, Mr. Lupin. Do not fret, all will be well.”

Remus looked down at the floor, chewing on his fingernails. “Professor, I’m concerned.”

“Concerned about what?” 

Remus could hear the worry in her voice and it was odd to him. He was grateful but at the same time he didn’t like it. He wanted to be treated normally. He sucked in a deep breath and looked up at her, “Over the summers my transformations are worse. Because my friends aren’t around to make me feel safe - I can always think about relying on them after the full. At least one of them is here when it’s a vacation... I’m concerned it will be worse than when they’re here with me.”

McGonagall let a soft hum escape her and she looked into those frightened green eyes. This was a Remus that she was not well versed in. The Remus she knew had his wits about him, he seemingly had his condition under control. Though, of course, she knew better than to believe that. But the Remus that was standing before her was twitchy and panicked. “Mr. Lupin, it maybe that this transformation will be without your friends to care for you afterwards, but do not think yourself alone.” 

“I will be alone.” Came the murmured response. 

“You will at least have myself and Poppy to help you get back on your feet. Now, come, Mr. Lupin, you need to eat.” She set a hand on his shoulder and ushered him out of the room before he could reply. 

They walked back to the great hall and McGonagall left Remus to join his friends at the Gryffindor table. She walked back to the staff table and leaned over to whisper softly into Dumbledore’s ear. Remus watched her carefully before being distracted by conversation with his friends. 

“Mum and dad have already made up the guest rooms by now, I’m sure!” James said excitedly. “But I bet we can all just room together!”

“Having our own rooms would be a nice change of pace though,” Peter replied, mouth full of egg. 

“But we’re so used to being together,” Said James, “and you’ll have all the time in the world to miss sleeping in the same room as us when we graduate, Wormtail.” 

“I’ll miss Sirius’ snoring the most.” Peter said sarcastically.

“And I’ll miss your daily bathroom runs.” Sirius jeered back. 

“And I’ll miss this!” James exclaimed, a fake sob bursting from him. 

Remus rolled his eyes and munched on a piece of toast quietly. 

“Why so quiet, Moony?” Peter asked him, giving a light smile. “It’ll be good to get out of here for a bit, right?”

Better late than never, right?

“I can’t go.”

“Huh?”

“I can’t go to James’.” He quieted his voice so only his three friends could hear. “I forgot the full, it’s on Christmas. I can’t go. I’m sorry.” He glanced at James, shame filling him at the crestfallen look on his face. “Please tell your parents I’m sorry for inconveniencing them.”

“You haven’t.” James said, putting back on a smile. Remus looked at his plate but looked up again when he felt a hand clap against his shoulder blade. “Really, Moony.”

“Alright...”

“We can stay,” Peter suggested lightly. 

“No, you won’t stay.”

Sirius frowned, “I don’t see why we can’t.”

“I’m not going to be selfish enough to let you three ruin your holiday because of me. Please.” The last word was uttered almost like he was begging. Like he couldn’t contain his shame for forgetting such an important full. “I... I can manage it on my own. Please don’t stay.”

—

Remus walked to the Whomping Willow two days later, not worried to be seen as there were only four other students that stayed this year. It was supper time so he figured they would all be in the great hall anyway. He used his wand to levitate a rock and knocked it against the knot on the tree’s trunk. It froze immediately and he walked through the still branches and ducked into the tunnel. He walked along the tunnel until he reached the little hatch and opened it. Climbing into the Shrieking Shack always gave him a bizarre feeling. As though feelings of being home and overwhelming dread mixed quite suddenly. He glanced around the broken down building and turned down a hallway, then turned once more to climb a set of stairs. Once he reached the top, his feet carried him mindlessly to the master bedroom - the room he most often chose to transform in. Remus sat on the large bed carefully, always worried that this moon would be the time the bed would collapse under him. He closed his eyes and held his head in his hands and waited - waited for the constant ache he felt deep in his bones to become sudden painful snaps. 

After a couple hours of sitting in silence, Remus felt his body begin to hum and buzz. He glanced up, peering at the boarded up window and noticed the moonlight streaming into the room. He let out a sudden shout of pain and dropped, falling off the bed to land on his hands and knees. One hand clutched to his scalp and he wailed as his nails grew into sharp claws that pierced his flesh, causing blood to dampen his light brown hair. His body trembled, surges of agony rushing through him. He could feel every moment, every change. His organs shifting, his muscles tearing and reforming, and worst of all, his bones snapping and resetting to something new. The transformation was still slow as he was still considered young and it was searing agony. He felt his skull move, his face lengthening to grow a snout and his ears growing pointed and moving slightly. His body curled in on itself tightly, claws ripping into his own flesh as he screamed and howled in pain. 

And almost as sudden as it began, it was over. His eyes opened, the green replaced with a brilliant gold. 

Alone. 

Alone!

ALONE!

His pack was gone, abandoned him! Moony spun, maybe Wormtail was here, somewhere. He was small, he could be hiding. Why would he hide from Moony? Moony knew he was pack, knew he would never hurt Wormtail. Moony let out growls and whines, panicked and hurt. He was abandoned? Had his pack finally left him? For good? He sniffed at the air and-

Suddenly, the wolf froze. The panic left him and relief spread through his body. His ears flattened and he took a cautious step toward the door, sniffing at the air once more. A new pack mate was here. Moony didn’t know what to do. But he felt so calm, why had he panicked so? He had a packmate here, with him. He was safe. 

A tabby cat was sitting in the doorway, watching him.


End file.
